Essay Correction
Introduction
Hook
Summary
(Authors name, title, main point of the article and other majors)
Thesis ( 2 reasons)
Body Paragraph 1
Reason 1 X( Top Sentence)
Major support 1
Minor support 1
Why( personal examples, quotes, paraphrases)
Major support 2
Minor support 2
Why( personal examples, quotes, paraphrases)
Body Paragraph 2
Reason 2 Y(Top Sentence)
Major support 1
Minor support 1
Why( personal examples, quotes, paraphrases)
Major support 2
Minor support 2
Why( personal examples, quotes, paraphrases)
Body Paragraph 3
Topic Sentence – Some might argue….( opponent’s point)
Explain opponent’s point of view (why do they think this ?)
Rebuttal (you) However, ( say why the reason is wrong? Or partially wrong)
Quote/paraphrase an author (page #)
Conclusion
Restate thesis paraphrase XY.
End: Opinion, suggestion prediction.
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Professor Ladino English 100 11/27/2018 Nursing homes should create a false reality for dementia patients The issue of creating false reality for dementia patients remains highly contentious Give us more gueral backgr in to introduce us to the topic belge, introducing The debate What’s deneath among doctors, caregivers and others experts. One group of medical experts and researchers support the creation of false reality in nursing homes while group advocate for dementia patients to be told the truth about their condition. In the Article “Take a Look at These Unusual Strategies include newspaper name for Fighting Dementia,” By Christopher F. Schuetze describes the opinion of medical experts advocating for creation of false reality and that those against the creation of it. In the article, What is dementia can? Chagrin Valley memory care unit is designed to resemble a town the residents had lived during Not the main iden way of their childhood. The facility is designed to create a false reality and illusion that patients are not canrs for dementia patients in a nursing home rather they in town. Doctors and caregivers admitted to have lied to patients use your own words by creating a false reality and comforting fictions to create short happiness for the patients. I This is 3 in the other Explain mowe about this new artiche – this article reports on the believe nursing homes should create a false reality for dementia patients since it helps them to ? contrsing is this a 2nd point? consider removing cope with the condition, and at peace as well as minimizing the cases of physical restraints. Netherlands Creating false reality in nursing homes for dementia patients is necessary in order to ensure cope dementia condition. False reality enable nursing homes to provide patients with readv. What do you mean by this? Describe for the emotional comforts and experience that resemble their childhood memories. This is important in ensuring patients remain at peace and happy, and reduce the likelihood of them causing trouble Introduce quote-give backgrond or act in manner that could harm themselves or other patients and staff. “I believe that deep on the context of the quote, the person speaking, Is this the only way to cape with the condition or is it the best way? Better than what other methods? – who knows this? Sodiya 2 down, they know that it is better to lie,” Barry B. Zeltzer. For example, in Chagrin Valley, staff employed false reality and deception such as fake bus stops and conversation simulation to put mox shamp acompletely different How is this near ensure the patients remained comfortable and relaxed.- Put this explanation in the beginning of the paragraph reason from helping patients cope? False reality in nursing homes is important in minimizing the cases of physical restraints Isn’t minimizing retraints just an example that shows the new method helps to prevent dementia patients from causing trouble. Using false reality ensures dementia patients patients delete, Cope? ? ( verb are remain comfortable during their time in nursing homes hence reducing the likelihood of – this is the same attacks or action that could cause harm to patients and staff. False reality create fictitious comfort reasman ? onclear wordy body! to patients hence preventing the chance of being physically restrained due violence. This was Cite wher you got this very common fifty years ago when nursing homes used to tie their patients to bed or chair in information order to prevent residents from causing trouble. Simulations and creation of false reality in mane missi] nursing homes has reduced the chance for physical restraints since they offer emotional comfoft Introduce quote to patients. “People who have dementia, for whom the life of the emotions is often intense, and şizobebared Supput without the ordinary forms of inhibition, inviting us to return to aspects of our being that are much older in evolutionary terms: more in tune with the body and its functions, closer to the life of instinct,” said Tom Kitwood Explan quote pexplain how it supports your poont use other words for this so you have a variety of Opponents of creating false reality in nursing homes for dementia patients argue that vocabulary of using false reality is a deception the residents. They argue that patients should told the truth missing SV about their condition as lying or deception create delusions. Opponents argue that false reality S-V only create a short-solution to the problem and hinder a deeper understanding of the problem. SvThey further indicates that lying, the use of deception and false reality shows a lack of respect for dementia patients. They also argue that it is unethical to use false reality when handling dementia Don’t use a patients since it lies to them. “What other kinds of harm might there be? The most important the effect is on yourself. What am I doing to myself if I do this over and over? If lying becomes a quote to Support other sicle Don’t give & reasons the 3 reasons the other side disagrees. Give one reason disagree with you and explain why. they Sodiya 3 habit? Will start doing it when I don’t need to? And, if I start doing it with one relative, why not with others?” asks Sissela Bok. Although all their argument makes, what is important for dementia patients the feeling emotional comfort and happiness at the moment hence false reality should be created. You can’t reuse FAOM youive giren before it has to be a new are that contradict your opponent must be a Supported wit In conclusion, nursing homes need to create a false reality for dementia patients in order quota to help them cope with their condition, relax, and remain happy and at peace as well as example minimizing the cases of physical restraints to prevents patients from causing trouble. Since dementia leads to the loss of memory, it important to create false reality that reminds them of their best moments in live. The most important thing is to ensure dementia patient get emotional comfort and happiness. False reality act as important element of instilling happiness to patients and hence should be created in nursing homes. It is also important in ensuring that patients are relieved from physical restraints and heavy medication. Appropriate measures should be applied to the false reality does not negatively affect the patients more spected the Advanced Integrated ESL 100 Summary/Response Rubric CS F Name Date Submitted Grade: Category Good / Complete Average/ Acceptable Weak/ Incomplete Introduction T ✓ ✓ ✓ Too Jague Argument 1 ✓ ✓ ✓ 7 ✓ untused ✓ more spente Argument 2 ✓ Begins in general by categorizing the article with a brief discussion. Transitions to summary and transitions to thesis. Clearly & correctly articulated main idea of article (problem/cause/solution) Clearly & correctly articulated key supporting points of article Thesis statement: Addressed the prompt (teacher’s question) Clear topic sentence that connects to thesis Used several key supporting points (both major and minor) with a variety of support (personal examples, quotes and paraphrase) Used transitions between key details. Clearly indicated which parts of essay were from original article (paraphrases, quotes, etc.) and explained each reference. Used strong, relevant key supporting points (that are organized clearly) Points are Used conclusion to tie together thesis, key supporting points, & ideas in article Clear topic sentence that connects to thesis. Used several key supporting points (both major and minor) with a variety of support (personal examples, quotes and paraphrase) Used transitions between key details. Clearly indicated which parts of essay were from original article (paraphrases, quotes, etc.) and explained each reference. Used strong, relevant key supporting points (that are organized clearly) Used conclusion to tie together thesis, key supporting points, & ideas in article Clear topic sentence that connects to thesis. Used several key supporting points (both major and minor) with a variety of support (personal examples, quotes and paraphrase) Used transitions between key details. Clearly indicated which parts of essay were from original article (paraphrases, quotes, etc.) and explained each referende. Used strong, relevant key supporting points (that are organized clearly) Used conclusion to tie together thesis, key supporting points, & ideas in article Used academic vocabulary words and expressions correctly Used appropriate grammar & spelling Formatted paper appropriately (double-spaced, 12pt font, paragraphs indented, 1″ margins, header) ✓ ✓ ✓ s more focused ✓ incoreet canterargut ✓ Argument 3 ✓ Good rebuttal idee ✓ Vocabulary & Mechanics ✓
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